The Week That Made Me Wonder

What a week it has been. It’s a week that had me wondering a lot. On 20^th March 2014, I was on the bus heading to Kuala Lumpur. I was going to attend an important event, an event that has the potential to change my life. But as usual I was not pinning to much hope on it. I was being realistic and those who know me since childhood would know that good things doesn’t usually come rolling my way. I’m not saying nothing good ever happens to me, it’s just that I have been through quite a lot. But, there are a lot of people who have gone through worse and I am grateful for what I have.

I reached Pudu Bus Station at around 4.40pm. My friend, Yuva, who was supposed to pick me up, was still at work. I chilled at Pudu for awhile. It’s quite a fascinating place if you pay attention to the people there. They come from every walk of life, carrying their huge bags, rushing to their respective platforms. Some of them would be alone, some with their families. I’m sure each of them would have a story to tell, each of them would have experienced something unique and different in their life. Though our stories are different, humanity is always one, something that all of us tend to forget most of the time.

At around 6.00pm, Yuva came to pick me up. The famous Kuala Lumpur traffic jam was not a problem for us. He came by motorcycle and we went pass the traffic with ease. I love the way my friend rides his motorcycle. He is really skilled. He is probably the best motorcyclist I have ever seen. Within a jiffy we were in Cheras, where Yuva was staying with his aunt. Though the motorcycle ride was fun, I can’t help but think about his fortune if it were to rain. He would be soaked wet by the time he reaches home from work. Well it’s the same case for me too. Even though my house is only 8 minutes away from my work place, the rain in Taiping would totally soak me within a few seconds. It’s what every motorcyclist has to go through. The worst part is when the cars passing by decide to splash water on you as if your existence on the road is not of any significance.

Once we reached Cheras, both of us got ready and we were off to the event, once again on Yuva’s bike. The event was in Putrajaya, it’s quite far from Cheras. But, my friend was flying away on his motorcycle, reminiscence of our school days when we would roam around Taiping with no worries at all. How things have changed. We reached Putrajaya International Convention Centre (PICC) around 8.10pm. We were supposed to be there at 7.30pm, late as usual. Punctuality and I never got along since childhood. PICC was quite a huge premise and it took us around 10 minutes to finally locate Hall A, where the event was held. We were seated. I looked around and the event title adorned the backdrop, “MPH Best of 2013 and Mutiara Minda Award Night”. Today could be my moment.

Before I go on blabbering, let me just explain in short what this event is all about. It all started on 3^rd January 2014. As I was in my office at CRC, Hospital Taiping, I browsed the MPH Bookstore website. I tend to visit this website time to time in case there are any good books on sale. A lot of people don’t know this, but I like to read novels. Well, as I was browsing through, there was a small advert in the website that caught my eye, “Pertandingan Top Novelis Mutiara Minda MPH 2014”. The title was catchy, and since I had an interest in writing, which also a lot of people don’t know, I decided to check it out. For those who don’t know that I enjoy writing, I have around four to five unfinished novels in my laptop, all of them in English. Not sure whether I will ever finish it or whether it will get its own audience.

“Pertandingan Top Novelis Mutiara Minda 2014” was a novel writing competition organized by MPH Bookstores. The competition commenced in early December and the closing date was 17^th February 2014. Looks like I have lost around one month to begin with. But I was determined to submit my manuscript. I have exactly 45 days. By hook or crook, I have to get it done. Even before starting, I was facing a few problems. The first one was the competition was for writing a Malay novel. All this while I have written in English and it has been a long time since I wrote in Malay. Still my spirit did not falter. As far as I can remember, I had a fair command of Malay language during school days and university days. I was sure I could muster something. The second problem was slightly tougher; I didn’t know what to write about.

Even though I had a few unfinished stories written in English in my laptop, I couldn’t bring about myself to translate those stories into Malay. I can’t explain why. It’s like the story exist in my mind in English and I can’t imagine the same story in Malay. I had a mental block while trying to re-write each of the stories in Malay. There was no way through. I had no choice. I had to come up with a fresh idea. After checking out the available Malay novels in the MPH website, I noticed that most of it was based on love stories. So, I needed a different theme. The only idea that popped into my mind at that moment was to write about a murder investigation.

The very day that I saw the advert, I started writing. From that day onwards, it was nonstop writing. I had to write every day. According to the competition rules, the manuscript has to be more than 80000 words. In a perfect world, I would write 2000 words a day and would have been done by the 40^th day. Well it’s not that easy. There were times when I would hit a wall and would not be able write anything, total writer’s block. I would lose a lot of days like this. Then, there would be days when I would have flowing ideas but could not find the time to sit and write. There were days with 0 words and there were days I had to push myself to write around 5000 words from morning till night.

I wanted to do a lot of research for the novel but time did not permit me to do so. I wrote with whatever little knowledge I had. It was a taxing 45 days as I was occupied with my job at CRC from 8.30am to 7.00pm almost every day except weekends. It was the 15^th February 2014 by the time I completed the novel. I was happy it was done. But the bad news was, I had only 2 days to proofread my work. I didn’t ask anyone’s help to proofread my work as not many people knew I was writing for a competition. As usual, I didn’t tell mom anything about the competition. She only knew that I was writing some story. I usually don’t tell my mom anything because I don’t want to give her false hope. She believes in me too much and would already start dreaming about all the possibilities. I have ended up disappointing her too many times and I can’t keep doing that to my mom.

Besides my mom, there were only three people who knew I was writing a novel, well writing a story to be exact. They were my sister and two of my closest friends, Nigunan and Yuvaraja. But as I said, none of them knew I was writing for a competition. Hence, I had to do the proofreading myself. I had less than 48 hours to do my proofreading. I powered through. By the time I finish proofreading whatever I could, the time was already 11.00pm on the 17^th February 2014. The manuscript had to be submitted by 11.59pm on that day. I attached my manuscript, the participation form and receipts for proof of purchase and sent the email. It was 11.18pm when I sent it. To my utter shock, I received a postmaster mail delivery failure alert. My world almost came crashing down. All those effort for nothing, all those effort and my email was not delivered. I calmed myself down. I had time, I can figure out what went wrong.

The first reaction was to check the email address and the first hunch is always the best hunch. I was right; I left out a letter in the email address, the letter “s”. I wrote the email address as contest@mph.com.my when the actual email address was contests@mph.com.my. I could have lost out on a big opportunity because of one letter. The email address was corrected and at 11.22pm my email was safely sent to the organizers. But I still had my doubts. What if there was a late alert. So I stayed on my laptop refreshing my email page to make sure there was no delivery failure alert. If suddenly there was one, at least I can still correct it and send it again. I kept on refreshing my email page until it was pass the submission time. Nothing I can do if there were any alerts after 11.59pm. I was quite satisfied. Actually I couldn’t believe it. I literally wrote a 405 page novel. After this I would relax and wait for the announcement of the Top 10 contestants.

It took almost a month for the Top 10 contestant to be announced. I wouldn’t say I did not bother to check the results or was not eager to know whether I was listed.  I actually checked the Mutiara Minda Facebook page each time I logged into my Facebook. But the wait was long. Finally, the announcement came on 14^th March 2014; my name was amongst the 10 writers who were listed. I was happy, really happy. I couldn’t believe it. But I had my doubts; maybe there were only 10 participants to begin with. It didn’t matter. I was in the Top 10. All 10 finalists will be invited to an award night in Putrajaya in conjunction with the Putrajaya International Book Fair on 20^th March 2014.

At first I was reluctant to go. It’s like in my mind I already decided that I’m definitely going to get only the consolation prize; I was not going to finish in Top 3. I told my mom about the announcement. Now that I was already in the Top 10, there was no harm in telling her. Then I informed my sister, Nigunan and Yuvaraja. They all said the same thing to me, even though I don’t get into Top 3, there is no harm in attending the event. They said I had an excuse to go to Kuala Lumpur and it would be a good chance to meet up with my friends. That sounded reasonable. So it was decided, I would attend the event.

So after the grueling and anxious two and half month, I was seated at the event with Yuva. Tan Sri Rais Yatim was the guest of honor. The night went on with the opening speech, dinner and awarding the best novels of last year according to different categories. All the while throughout the dinner, my friend kept on saying I would definitely be in the Top 3. He had more confidence in me then I had on myself. Before the winners of Top Novelis Mutiara Minda were announced, one of the board members delivered her speech, a Datin, I couldn’t remember her name. She spoke about the contest and explained to everyone what it was all about. There was a small proud moment for me in her speech. She said that MPH received 35 manuscripts in total for the competition and there was only one manuscript from a non-Malay writer. She was talking about me. A brief moment everyone in the table took a look at me. At least I was already a stand out whether I win anything or not. After her speech, the moment arrived, the prize giving ceremony.

They started with the announcement of the consolation prize winners. There were seven of them altogether. One by one the names were called out. I watched and listened anxiously. Will my name be called? Each time a name was called, my friend would tell me that I will definitely be in the Top 3. Finally the seventh name was called. It wasn’t me. Straight away Yuva congratulated me. I couldn’t believe it. I was in the Top 3. The Top 3 were called to the stage for the final announcements. I walked to the stage. I still couldn’t believe it. I was really in the Top 3.

Me, and two other female writers were on the stage, together with all the guests of honour. Now I was more anxious. I didn’t know why I was anxious. I was already in the Top 3 which was more than what I expected. Maybe the anxiety from before still had not settled in. I was literally stretching my limbs on stage. I looked like a runner at the starting line waiting for the gun shot to start the race. I was taking long deep breaths to calm myself down. Yuva even told me a day later that I was like Usain Bolt waiting to sprint anytime.

They announced the third place and it went to one of the other female writer for her novel “Anugerah Muzik Terhebat”. Then it was the announcement for second place. It was me. They called out my name, “Venoo Kuppusamy”.  I was ecstatic. I received my prize; MPH Bookstore voucher worth RM200, stationary sets, a Canon printer and the most important prize; a publishing deal with advance royalty payment of RM1000. I did it. I won. I got second place. I was going to publish my novel. My novel will be available in bookstores for others to read. What a dream come true. It was amazing. As usual, the only setback I feel when something good happens is that my dad is not around to see it. I hope he would be proud.

Second Prize at Mutiara Minda Awards Night

 

What happened after the prize giving ceremony was all a blur. Pictures were taken by various newspapers, individual pictures and pictures of all three winners. I remember being interviewed by the reporter from The Star. I don’t even remember what I told her. I am not even sure what I answered the reporters. I was feeling really awkward. All this was strange to me. I never liked being centre stage. I always liked to be low profile and work in the background. Only after the event ended and we walked out of the hall I felt calm and could digest what had just happened. I made a quick phone call to my mom and sister to inform the results. They were overwhelmed with happiness.

I phoned Nigunan to inform him the result. He was happy too and suggested we meet up in Puchong. I made a call to two more friends, Tenes and Suresh, who had no idea what was going on that night, to meet up in Puchong. They were surprised because they didn’t even know that I was in Putrajaya that day. I can be really secretive can’t I? So, we were meeting up in Puchong in a while. But there was a small problem; we had a mock cheque, a mock voucher, a small bag of stationary and a printer, and our transport was a motorcycle. How were we supposed to bring all this back to my friend’s house in Cheras before going to Puchong using a motorcycle? Well guess what, we did bring everything back on the motorcycle. It was a joyride. I had to hold everything while seated behind. Since there were a lot of things to hold on to at the back, Yuva had almost no space on the motorcycle seat. He was sitting right at the edge as he rode his motorcycle. But it was one of the best motorcycle rides I have ever had. I loved every moment of it. I really felt like myself during that ride.

After reaching Cheras, we changed and took Yuva’s aunt’s car to Puchong. It was already around 12.00am. No way could I get a bus to go back to Taiping tonight. I will chill with my friends and take the first bus to Taiping in the morning. Tenes couldn’t make it to Puchong as he was engaged with work. I explained everything to him through the phone. At Puchong we met up in a Nasi Kandar shop. We sat and talked. I told everything that had happened to Suresh. Now, all my four friends were aware about what had happened. These four friends are very important to me. Anything that goes on in my life I would inform the four of them. They have done so much for me. They are very important in my life. There are a few more people that I have to inform, school friends and also university friends. I will inform them personally tomorrow. The next day, I was off on the first bus to Taiping. I would be able to reach Taiping around 12.15pm and I can get to work before 1.00pm.

All this while, I have been writing how I wrote a novel for a competition and what happened at the award event. But if you look at the title, “The Week That Made Me Wonder”, it doesn’t quite match the article does it. So far in the article, I have not written anything about things that have made me wonder. Well, it’s not the novel writing process or the award night that made me wonder. It’s what happened in the following days that really made me wonder. It started as soon as I was reaching the office.

It was already around 1.15pm when I reached the office. I already missed a half’s day work. I have a lot of catching up to do. As I sat at my table, I received a SMS from a university friend saying that she found out about my novel from Facebook and she congratulated me. Before I could reply, another SMS came in also congratulating me on my achievement. They got to know about this from Facebook. I immediately knew that it must have been my sister who would have posted something as I did not have any intention to post about this in Facebook. When I logged into Facebook, I had quite a number of notifications. I have received a lot of “likes”, comments and wall posts. I received a few more SMSs and some phone calls too. All of it was to congratulate me. These are the things that made me wonder.

I have been a complete jerk to most of my friends. Trust me; “jerk” is actually putting it in a nice way. The truth is I behaved far worse. I have stayed away from most of friend for years now. I have ignored their phone calls, not replied their SMSs and have even avoided them when I happen to see them in public. I have been the worst example of a friend towards most of them. Yet, when something good happens to me, they take the time to call me. They take the time to SMS me. They take the time to post on my Facebook wall to congratulate me. They take the time to comment and send me “likes”. They show me so much love and care despite how I have behaved. Mind it; I have not been behaving badly for only days that I could be forgiven easily. I have been behaving like a jerk towards my friends for years. But they still show me the same level of care and concern that they had for me as before. What did I ever do to deserve such unconditional love? What did I ever do?

The only thing I could do in return was to answer their calls, reply their SMSs, comment on their posts, reply their comments and re-send “likes” to them. Few days went on like this. Some of them finding out a bit late but still managing to congratulate me in whatever manner possible. It has been around three weeks since all of it happened. Yet, I am still wondering. Still wondering why my friends care so much about me despite how I have behaved. I may never the know answer, and I guess I will always be wondering. But one thing is certain, I am really lucky to have such amazing friends.