The People I Buried

Do not get shocked after reading the title. Trust me, it’s true. Throughout my life until now, I have buried quite a number of people and it seems that I would continue to do so whenever it is necessary. It was always difficult, but it was something that I had to do. The duration varied according to the people that I buried. Some people took me less time to bury; meanwhile others took me a relatively longer time. But little by little I would get the job done. So far, I have never failed or stopped halfway. Though, there was one time, just one time that I had wished I could stop and not bury this person. He was a really nice guy, but there was no turning back. Once I decide a person needs to be buried, he will be buried no matter what the circumstances.

The first time I had to bury someone, I was really young. I was only 11 years old. This boy grew up not realizing who he was and where he came from. He didn’t know that his behavior in one way or the other was a burden to his family. This boy was really picky and selective when it came to food. I could go on and on listing the type of food that he didn’t eat; sardine, egg yolk, char kuey teow, thosai, sambar, most of the vegetables except one or two, and many others. He was a nuisance. This type of behavior is not acceptable even if you come from a well to do family. But this evil little boy was from a family that was struggling to make ends meet. I would not totally blame everything on him. He was ignorant of his surroundings until he was 11 years old when he started realizing his bad habit. Once he started to realize, it was time for him to go.

It took me quite some time to bury him, around one to two years to be exact. He was stubborn and didn’t want to accept what was coming for him. But eventually by the time I was 13 years old, he was gone. No more being picky. It opened up a whole new world of taste and delight. As long as it was edible, it was fine. Be it anything, trust me anything. The only thing that was still out of the menu even until today is durian. It’s kind of weird for a Malaysian who eats everything not to eat durian right? But I have told many people, I can eat almost anything except for durian. Tried but denied till today and probably forever. Well that was the first person I buried. I didn’t have to bury anyone else for the next two years. But at the age of 15, I had to bury one person who was very significant and could have entirely changed the way I look at life if I didn’t bury him.

This second boy was 15 years old when I decided to bury him. A lot of people would not believe it, but this boy was actually religious since young until he was 15 years old. He was not a very religious person until he drowned in it, but he believed in God none the less. Mainly in Hindu Gods as that was his family surrounding. His family rarely went to temple, yet prayers at home were as usual. Believe it or not, this boy use to pray and he would especially pray every night before he went to sleep. I do not lie when I say every night. He prayed every night. I know most people already can’t digest what I am saying here. Well his religious belief took a hit at the age of 15 years old; he started realizing what was going on around him, and around the world.

Coming from a not so well to do family, this boy was surrounded by people similar to him and his family. From his point of view, life seemed unfair. None of the people around him including his family did anything bad. They were good people who earned an honest living. Yet they were poor. In contrast he saw many others who were not so good people, who lied, cheated and earned illegally, yet they were wealthy. He did not understand God’s logic. But, this was just things happening around him. When he knew what was happening around the world he was even more terrified. Killings, rape, genocide, hunger, poverty, natural disasters, diseases, the list kept on going. The world was a cruel place and it was mostly the innocent who were suffering. The wrongdoers were living lavish lifestyle and were not bothered. It didn’t seem right. Whatever system “God” was using, His system was definitely faulty and there were no signs that He would be debugging His system anytime soon.

He could not accept how the world had shaped itself, even though most people around him could. He could not accept the fact that God grants “A’s” to children who go to school but does not give a drop of water to the child that eventually dies of hunger. Where was the logic in that? He was angry. But he did not know at whom. He just felt the system was faulty, unfair, and injustice. Soon the words of those with similar questions that he had would reach his ears. As word by word reached his ears, whether through movies, television shows, or books, he started uncovering the side of religious belief which would be full of politics, greed, and all the evil things you could think of. This is the moment I decided the religious 15 year old had to go. This was a quick burial. It probably only took months, two to the most. Before anyone knew it, the boy was buried deep underground.

Burying the 15 year old opened a whole new world. He explored and learned more. Throughout the years he would find out that maybe the perception he had when I decided to bury the 15 year old boy was not all correct. But it was this burial that enabled him to approach everything with an open mind. It made him aware of his immediate surroundings. It made him realize, if you want something you go and get it, period. He learned to work harder, and he knew that even though his family’s burden was not his to bear yet, he would start now. He knew he would not be able to do much but he would do whatever he can. That’s when this boy started saving vigorously. He will save whatever money he can from his daily allowance given by his father, even though it was not much to begin with. Whatever money that anyone would give him when he got good results would be saved. He used this money to pay for his tuition fee on his own whenever he could. When his father tells him that he can’t pay the fees for this month until the next one or two weeks, he would tell his father that he already paid it with his own money. He loved the look on his father’s face who would smile proudly at what he had accomplished. A smile of a proud father, it’s priceless.

For the next two years I would be free from burying anyone, having buried two people previously when I was 11 and 15 years old. But right after SPM, during the long holidays while awaiting the dreaded result, it would be time for me to bury someone again. At 17 years old, the boy had become an expert in hiding his emotions. Whatever hardship or sorrow he was going through was well concealed and no one would notice, sometimes even the closest ones to him. Yet one of the emotions that he had not fully controlled was anger. Another shocker for anyone who had only knew him in recent times. Yes, at the age of 17, this boy would explode like a bomb even over silly things.

The moment he realized that he would need to change his behavior came when he was playing badminton with his close friends. He was sitting by the court talking to one of his best friend, when a verbal argument started between them. It only took a moment for all hell to break loose, before anyone else knew it; this boy was ready for a fist fight. His friend was slightly calmer than him, maybe because the friend knew that he can take him down easily. All the others rushed towards both of them holding them back. Two of his friends were dragging this boy across the badminton court towards the door, telling him to calm down and go back home first. With his rage, his yelling, and throwing his arm everywhere, his hand latched onto his helmet. Next thing everyone knew, the helmet was flying across the badminton court towards his friend. But it seems this boy was lousy at throwing, so he actually missed and the helmet hit the wall with a thunderous crashing sound and suddenly everyone went silent including him.

Before he could fully comprehend what had happened, he was already sitting at the backseat of the motorcycle heading towards home. He realized how silly he had behaved. He was ashamed and he didn’t know how to apologize. But his best friend was the greater person here, as he has always been. The friend didn’t let him go through the hardship of trying to apologize as he spoke first and told the boy to forget about it. This was the moment I decided that this 17 year old angry boy had to be buried. This burial was also swift, probably just a few months. The angry boy was buried. So now, this boy will hide all his emotions including his anger. Not sure if this is a good thing, as keeping all emotions bottled up can eventually lead him to explode once and for all. Well that time is yet to come, and hopefully it doesn’t.

Having buried three people, the moment beckoned for the fourth burial soon. But, the next burial was not until the next seven years. Yes, it took that long for the next burial, maybe because it was one of the best periods of the boy’s life. He was studying in Moscow, able to explore things way beyond his imagination. He learned a lot of new things, mainly outside of the classroom rather than inside it. It was eye opening and also mind opening. It was a learning process he would never forget. He was also going back to Malaysia every year during summer holidays to spend time with family and friends. They had the greatest of times during those two months holiday. As time passed by, it seemed almost perfect. Surrounded by wonderful people in Moscow while he was there and spending time with amazing people when he was back in Malaysia. It couldn’t get any better. But when the notion is it can’t get any better, the boy failed to realize that it can get bad, and as time went by it got worse.

Things came spiraling down in 2008 when the boy was 24 years old. Starting with the most tragic event of his life, things didn’t get any better. Within a few months after that, he was unemployed; facing difficulties that he didn’t expect and his life seemed entirely blank. I have mentioned before, the feeling he was going through at this time was falling into a dark bottomless pit engulfed by fear and anxiety, uncertain when he would hit the bottom. But after a while, he just wanted to hit the bottom soon and get it over with. He just wanted everything to end. It wasn’t going to be easy. Waiting for everything to end was not the way to face his problem. He knew that. First the happy go lucky boy had to go. The happiest boy that was around for the past few years had to go. It was time for me to bury him.

This is the most difficult burial of my life. Till today I wish that I hadn’t buried this boy. But I had no choice. I needed someone who could face reality; someone who could stand up and start facing the problems that have fallen upon him. This happy go lucky boy was not ready for this. He was not prepared and he didn’t have the power or the will to fight on. Burying this boy would mean burying the nicest and happiest guy this boy has ever been. But it was necessary. Life had to go on. This burial took long, almost 14 months. Little by little, he was buried six feet under, with no chance of coming back.

The burial of this boy gave birth to the boy who would face everything alone. He was silent, didn’t talk much and went about each and every day trying to solve his existing problems. As time went on, he tried to steady himself and made sure there were plans in motion that would put everything in place. It wasn’t easy. But he had to do it. New problems kept on creeping up from time to time, but after a few years he was already accustomed to it. He accepted the reality that this was how his life was designed to be lived. He was almost computer like; a machine that went on a routine schedule day by day. He kept away from everyone but occasional visits from his childhood friends helped break that routine, so that once in awhile he could feel human again.

This went on for almost four years when he started realizing that things were not that bad after all. Yes he fell into a dark pit, but when you are down in a pit, the only way you can go after this is up. He just had to be careful that he doesn’t fall again. He needs to be very careful. As he realized this new found reality and started looking on the bright side of life, he was slowly opening up himself to his long forgotten friends. After six to seven years of an almost solitary state, he was up and trying to make things reconnect again. It was tough, it was scary and boy was he nervous. But reconnecting with old friends gave him a joy and happiness that he had not felt for a long time.

Yes, happiness was there again in his life, after a long dark journey. But even though he was happy, I know the happy cheerful boy that I buried almost more than five years ago has no chance of coming back. Even though I was the one that buried him, it was one boy that I didn’t want to bury at all. It was the only burial that I regret even until today. But there is nothing that I can do, that nice boy who radiated happiness unto others is gone. It would have been nice to have him around. But there is nothing that can be done. He is buried, dusted, and gone for good.

Life went on as I waited with the regret of the last burial to face the next upcoming one. The latest burial, the fifth one, took place in February 2015. It was a new chapter in the boy’s life; a chapter that no one would have expected to happen. Believe it or not, towards the end of 2014, this boy actually started liking a girl. This was not just you know like normally liking a girl, this was like getting married and settling down kind of liking. It is hard to believe. Who knew that this stone cold hearted boy could be capable of love? Yes, you read it right, I did say “love”.

To keep things short, by the end of last year, he developed a certain feeling for a girl that eventually outgrew his tiny heart and engulfed him in this new found feeling that normal people call “love”. Of course it was new to him because before this he was totally oblivious toward this emotion. But now he was experiencing it firsthand. The feeling kept on growing, and being in love for the first time, he had no idea what to do. But before he could decide what to do, he had to decide whether he should do anything or not. All this while, he had spent his life never thinking of getting married and settling down. He had always this notion in him that he would die old and alone. He also never thought that he was marriage material. He even wrote a blog post titled “Why No One Should Marry Me”. He was in a dilemma. He needed answers. He needed to sort things out. He needed to decide. Most importantly he needed me to bury someone, but whom?

I stand there with my shovel, ready as always to bury the person that had to go. There were two of them, and only one can go on. One boy was a boy that been around for a very long time. He knew what his life was going to be like as he never planned on getting married. His bachelor life already planned almost towards the end. Yes, this boy knew what he was doing with his life and what he is going to keep on doing with it. He was steady, and had a clear mind. It will be a waste to bury such an organized, well planned boy. A boy like this is quite hard to come by these days. Keeping him would mean that there is nothing much to worry about, no uncertainties, no sudden eventful thing that could cause headaches, and also no new things to look forward to. Should I bury him?

On the other hand, there is this new boy. This boy popped out of nowhere and is full of these new weird emotions that he himself cannot fully comprehend. But even though he doesn’t fully understand these feeling, he seems to like it. As a matter of fact, he seems to enjoy it. This new boy is really weird. He has no idea how things are going to work out. He has no idea how his life is going to change. He has no idea what he is going to do with his life after this. So many uncertainties and questions loom around this boy, yet the only thing he truly cares about is this new found emotion that gives him an overwhelming joy that he has never felt before. Keeping him would mean taking one of the biggest risks of his life. Is he ready for that? Is it worth it? Or should I bury him?

Well all the questions above were clambering my head way back in February. And now it’s already September, which means that I have already decided who to bury. Not only decided, but I have actually buried one of the boys. It was a quick burial. Who did I bury? Did I bury the boy who was certain of his future and never wanted to get married? Or did I bury the boy who was full of love but was taking a huge risk with his life? Did I place a bet on a steady future, or did I take a risk on love?

Well as time goes on, sooner or later, you will find out. As for now, the fifth burial is done and dusted.

Reflections and Resolutions

I started this blog in 2011. So it’s going to be more than 3 years since I started pouring my mind into the pages of this blog. Yet, all these while I never did two things, write an end of the year reflection or write a New Year resolution. But, today I have decided to do both. Doing things that I don’t usually do has become the theme since 2014 started. 

First of all, I would like to reflect on the year 2014 as a whole. When 2014 started, I made plans in my mind to do 4 things in particular, write more, read more, watch more, and draw more. Yes, I wanted to do more on the four things that I love doing the most, writing, reading novels, watching movies/series/cartoons, and drawing. Yes I know, the last one would come as quite a shock. But before anyone jumps to any conclusion, no I am not good at drawing. It’s just something that I like doing when I feel like it. 

To start off with writing, in comparison with previous years, I did write a lot more in 2014. Even though the number of posts in my blog is only 8 for the year 2014 which ties with the year 2012 as the year with the least posts, I have done a lot of writing outside the blog. The first of course is a novel which I wrote early of the year; something that I wanted to accomplish for quite some time and I managed to do so, landed a publishing deal too as it was part of a competition by MPH. Besides my novel, I wrote screenplays for three short films. It was part of a small project that my friends and I undertook. We haven’t started shooting yet, but the groundwork in being established, and hopefully everything will come together soon. 

Next is reading. Well, reading was one of the things that had to take a back seat while I was occupied with other work. Throughout the year, I only managed to read one novel, only one. It was Stephen King’s Different Seasons; a novel which was mixture of many elements. One thing for sure, Stephen King knows how to scare the shit out of people and Different Seasons was supposed to be one of his least horrific novels. For someone who loves the world of novels, reading only one novel per year, is not that good. But time was not on my side when it came to reading. 

Third on the list is watching movies, series, animations and anything else that can be watched. The world of visual storytelling is something that I have been crazy about since my childhood days. So there would never be a year which I would say I didn’t watch enough movies or series. Last year, I watched my fair share of movies. I almost didn’t miss any of the major releases screened at the cinema. Even if I did miss it, it would be because it was not screened in the MBO Cinema of my hometown, Taiping. I also finished watching the complete series of Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. The only setback that I can think of is the diversity in language has decreased. I use to watch movies and series from wide range of languages; Tamil, English, Hindi, Malay, Korean dramas, Japanese Anime and many others. But 2014 was confined to Tamil, English and probably less than 5 Hindi movies. The rest was missing from 2014. 

The last one is of course drawing. I started the year with four sketches during my free time. But that was it. I didn’t pick up the pencil after that. I also did some playing around with Adobe Photoshop, and came up with two photo edits using tutorials I found on the web. That too, stopped dead right there. So, 4 sketches and 2 photo edits seems like the only art work that I manage to pull off for the whole year of 2014. I usually post these so called art work in one of my alternate blogs and to see the blog not being updated for quite some time is not good a feeling. But, I’m not sure whether I don’t have the time to do some drawing, or the inspiration is not hitting me like it use too. So as a whole, I did good in writing and watching, but not that good in reading and drawing. 

Those were the four things that I wanted to do more of in 2014. It was a simple resolution for a simple guy like me, but it’s a resolution never the less. As all resolutions I stayed true to some it, and fumbled with some of it. Besides these four items that structured my life in 2014, there were two other things that I took up which I would like to carry on doing. The first is cooking; another shocker isn’t it. Well, I always loved watching cooking shows and sometimes I would conjure something up in the kitchen. But it was always on rare occasions, maybe only once or twice a year. Even last year, if I properly count it, the amount of times I cooked something was less than ten times. But all those ten times that I did cook, gave me a sense of relaxation and accomplishment. I even started posting the recipes in an alternate blog too. 

If the first was cooking, the second would be jogging. I started jogging a bit more frequently in 2014 when I found out that my lipid profile was off the chart. Way off the chart. My Cholesterol was at 7.3mmol/L and my LDL was at 5.7mmol/L. I’m not sure how much diet control and exercising is going to help, as it seems that my high level of cholesterol is endogenous. Well, whether jogging helps or not, it doesn’t matter because jogging has become something that I really enjoy doing. I don’t jog for a very long distance or for a very long time; it is usually around 2.3km for about 25 minutes. But those 25 minutes feels like I am breaking out of the clutches of norm and being my own self. It is refreshing, replenishing and calms me down in a way that nothing else can. 

So, six things that my life was surrounded with in 2014 was writing, reading, watching, drawing, cooking and jogging. These six things are the activities that I did in 2014. Now I would like to look back on the moments of 2014 that were really important. As anyone else’s life, I also went through incidence which made me sad, stressful and feel sorrow. But I don’t want to talk about those incidences. Let it be bygones, and left in 2014 to be forgotten. I just want to look back at the important and happy moments of my life in 2014; no negatives, only positives. 

2014 was a year that I checked off two items off my Bucketlist; write a novel and watch a live concert. I have written extensively about these experiences in my previous posts. Those who have read it would know how much both these event meant to me. Going to AR Rahman‘s Infinite Love concert was euphoric. It was a musical experience which I would never forget in my life. Completing my first novel was even better than that. When I wrote the word “Tamat” in my novel, it felt like I have achieved something that I have been longing for my whole life. Though these two events were really important in my life, I would not say any of it would be the best moment of 2014. The live concert would probably be third and writing the novel would place second in my most important moments of 2014. So what was first? Well the most important thing to happen in 2014 was something that happened throughout 2014 in a steady and gradual manner. It was “friends”. 

When I looked back at 2014, my novel writing moment, winning the second prize and landing a publishing deal seemed like the best thing that can happen. But as I relived 2014 again and again, the moments that really stuck in my mind and really made me feel complete and happy was getting reacquainted with my long lost friends. As 2014 began, I started taking small steps towards getting back in touch with friends that I have not been keeping in touch with for a long time. It started with small birthday wishes in January. I was hesitant at the beginning, didn’t know what the reactions would be when my friends hear from me after a long time. But to my relief, they were pleased to get that small birthday wish. Some were even excited to hear from me again. But more than them, I was more excited to hear back from them even though it was just a “thank you” that came back as a reply. That “thank you” meant a lot for me. 

Things got even better during the period when my friends heard about my second place win in the novel writing competition. Friends who I haven’t spoken to for years contacted me to congratulate me. This event decreased my hesitancy when I went on to wish everyone for their birthday the following months. There were some who replied with full enthusiasm asking how I was and everything, some replied with a long “thank you”, others with a short “thank you” and there were also a tiny bit that didn’t reply. But for me the non-replies didn’t matter. I was putting myself out there again a bit by bit. Wishing everyone on their birthdays and during festive seasons how I use to when I was back in Moscow. Wishing someone on an occasion might not be huge deal for some people but for me it is. I think it’s the small things like this that goes a long way. A small wish gives you the feeling of belonging, lets you feel that you are appreciated, and lets you realize that there are people who care and people who remember. Being forgotten is a cruel punishment, to a certain extent, worse than death. 

I was also added to some of the WhatsApp group that my friends were part of, giving me that sense of belonging too. As I slowly established contact with everyone, everything seems to fall back into place. But it was merely text messages and a few phone calls. I wasn’t ready to meet most of them. Still scared I guess. Why, I’m not sure. There was only a few friends that I was meeting in person; my friends from Taiping, around five of the Spartivnaya guys based in Hospital Ipoh who also manage to hunt me down, and also very few of my batch mates. Everyone wouldn’t even total up to 20 people. But towards the end of the year, my group mates and my close friends from Moscow Medical Academy decided to go for the AFF Suzuki Cup Final 2014 in Bukit Jalil National Stadium. They asked me to join them. At first I was reluctant. I knew I will be meeting some of them after 6 years and the thought of it terrified me. As I said, I don’t know why but it did. Even though we text each other through our WhatsApp group, meeting everyone in person required taking an extra step. 

After giving it much thought, and persuasion by some people, I decided to take that step. The build up to the day was scary. I didn’t know what I would say, what we would talk about. It sounds insane right. I don’t think so I would have been this nervous even if I was going on my first date, not that I have been on one before. Cutting things short, by the time I was in KL, my mind wasn’t thinking anymore. I went on auto pilot mode. Reaching the bus station, the walk to the LRT station, the train ride to KL Sentral, all was done on auto pilot. I guess not thinking about anything calmed me down a bit. The first person that I met was Sukhdev as he came to pick me up. Meeting Sukhdev was alright for me as we already met a few times and the awkwardness was not there. Even to begin with, the first time we met after around four years, the awkwardness disappeared almost instantly. 

At Kelana Jaya LRT Station

I was in Sukhdev’s house for awhile before leaving to the LRT station. At the LRT station we met Ajed, who I haven’t met for six years. As soon as we met the nervousness I was having faded and became an excitement. We chatted all the way to the stadium. So much of catching up needed to be done. At the stadium we met up with Min, Fizal, Kindut, Ju, Quek, and Uzir. My fear was baseless; there was no sense of awkwardness at all. Once we met, said our “hi” and started chatting away as we made our way to the stadium, it was like we the last time we chilled together was yesterday. Throughout the match we were talking and screaming supporting Malaysia in the finals. Sadly Malaysia won the match but lost the cup. As we were leaving the stadium, we managed to catch up with Rajiv for awhile. I have already met up with Rajiv a few times back in Taiping. 

Though some had to leave, Ajed, Min, Kindut, Fizal and I went for late supper in Sunway. But before we reached Sunway, we had to go through a crowd of around eighty thousand people to get into a packed LRT train in order for the guys to get their cars. It was reminiscences of our morning Metro rides back in Moscow as we headed to class together. We chilled in Sunway until 2.00am. Halfway through, Sharon joined us. I also haven’t met him for six years. We talked and talked, chit chatted away, reliving old tales and catching up with new ones. Though it was only for hours, I had a really good time. It was like we were back in Moscow and were chilling in room 411 during the weekends. We said our goodbyes and headed our own way at 2.00am. 

At Bukit Jalil National Stadium

It was an important get together for me. A meet up that broke my nervousness and anxiety. It doesn’t mean that I am up and ready to meet everyone. I’m sure I would still be a bit anxious when it’s time to meet other old friends. But at least now I know that it can work out well. At least now I know that it is well worth it to put myself out there. All the small messages and meet up at the end of the year turned 2014 as a year that I will always remember as the year that turned me around to my old self; though not fully but I’m almost there. That is why “friends” will be the most important moment for me in the year of 2014 more than anything else. 

Well, that was a long and blissful reflection. I guess I am done reflecting on 2014; what structured my everyday life and the moments that defined my life. Now, it’s on to one of the things that I almost never do, write a New Year resolution. Sometimes, I make resolutions in my mind and sometimes I tell it to a few friends. But I don’t ever remember putting any resolution in writing before. But, since writing is something that I enjoy doing, then why not put my resolution in writing. It will make it easier for me to write an end of the year reflection come December 2015. Rather than having very vague resolutions, I will try to put numbers on my resolution so there will be some sort of target point that I can compare my performance with. Putting numbers on it does make me worried that it might take the joy out of what I enjoy doing. But let’s just give it a try for this year and see how it works out. 

Well, here are the resolutions: 

• Write two novels. After completing my first novel in 2014, I didn’t move past Chapter 3 in my second novel. So this is something that I really want to work on.
• Write screenplay for three short films. I already have three screenplays which haven’t gone into pre-production yet, but that doesn’t mean that I should stop writing the screenplays. I just have to make sure the screenplays gets translates into short films, which comes to my next resolution.
• Complete at least two short film projects. This short film project has always been something that my friends and I wanted to do for a long time. So I am determined to make it happen this year.
• Next is my reading. I’m not sure if I want to set a target for this. But for the sake of putting a number on it, let’s just say that I want to finish reading at least three novels this year.
• For movies, I definitely don’t want to put any number on it. I just want to watch as many movies as possible. But a note to self would be to diversify the language of the movies or series; increase the number of Hindi, Malay, Japanese and other languages that I am going to watch.
• Another one that I don’t want to put a number on is my artwork. Drawing is just something that I look to do when I feel like it. So I’ll just leave it at that and hope that I would feel like drawing more often than last year.
• Something I really want to do more this year is cooking. Easy target, try at least 10 new recipes throughout the year.
• My break-free moment is when I go jogging. So, run at least a total of 200km for the whole of 2015. 

Those are the activities that I want to continue from last year. Here are some more resolutions that I would like to add on this year: 

• Take a road trip with my school friends. This is something that has been in planning for years. It did happen once or twice with a small number of my friends getting together which I obviously missed out.
• Complete at least two items from my Bucketlist. I would have to work on this. I won’t choose which two, I’m sure it will choose itself as time goes on.
• Speaking my mind and doing what my heart desires. I know this is a bit vague. But there have been lots of things that I wanted say or wanted to do that I would have put off for another day. Well, what if that day never comes. I do not want to regret not saying or not doing. So, no more putting off things for another day.
• The last one would be something that I will approach with nervousness, which is meeting up with more friends that I have not been in touch with. It will be scary, but as I said it will be well worth it. 

Well at the moment these are the only things that I can think of as part of my New Year resolution. I know for most people my resolution looks like things that everyone does every day as part of their routine. But what is routine for others is a passion for me. Reflection wise, it was a good 2014 and resolution wise, its a few simple resolutions for a simple guy like me. There you have it, my reflection of 2014 and resolution of 2015, all written down for the first time.