First of all, I would like to reflect on the year 2014 as a whole. When 2014 started, I made plans in my mind to do 4 things in particular, write more, read more, watch more, and draw more. Yes, I wanted to do more on the four things that I love doing the most, writing, reading novels, watching movies/series/cartoons, and drawing. Yes I know, the last one would come as quite a shock. But before anyone jumps to any conclusion, no I am not good at drawing. It’s just something that I like doing when I feel like it.
To start off with writing, in comparison with previous years, I did write a lot more in 2014. Even though the number of posts in my blog is only 8 for the year 2014 which ties with the year 2012 as the year with the least posts, I have done a lot of writing outside the blog. The first of course is a novel which I wrote early of the year; something that I wanted to accomplish for quite some time and I managed to do so, landed a publishing deal too as it was part of a competition by MPH. Besides my novel, I wrote screenplays for three short films. It was part of a small project that my friends and I undertook. We haven’t started shooting yet, but the groundwork in being established, and hopefully everything will come together soon.
Next is reading. Well, reading was one of the things that had to take a back seat while I was occupied with other work. Throughout the year, I only managed to read one novel, only one. It was Stephen King’s Different Seasons; a novel which was mixture of many elements. One thing for sure, Stephen King knows how to scare the shit out of people and Different Seasons was supposed to be one of his least horrific novels. For someone who loves the world of novels, reading only one novel per year, is not that good. But time was not on my side when it came to reading.
Third on the list is watching movies, series, animations and anything else that can be watched. The world of visual storytelling is something that I have been crazy about since my childhood days. So there would never be a year which I would say I didn’t watch enough movies or series. Last year, I watched my fair share of movies. I almost didn’t miss any of the major releases screened at the cinema. Even if I did miss it, it would be because it was not screened in the MBO Cinema of my hometown, Taiping. I also finished watching the complete series of Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. The only setback that I can think of is the diversity in language has decreased. I use to watch movies and series from wide range of languages; Tamil, English, Hindi, Malay, Korean dramas, Japanese Anime and many others. But 2014 was confined to Tamil, English and probably less than 5 Hindi movies. The rest was missing from 2014.
The last one is of course drawing. I started the year with four sketches during my free time. But that was it. I didn’t pick up the pencil after that. I also did some playing around with Adobe Photoshop, and came up with two photo edits using tutorials I found on the web. That too, stopped dead right there. So, 4 sketches and 2 photo edits seems like the only art work that I manage to pull off for the whole year of 2014. I usually post these so called art work in one of my alternate blogs and to see the blog not being updated for quite some time is not good a feeling. But, I’m not sure whether I don’t have the time to do some drawing, or the inspiration is not hitting me like it use too. So as a whole, I did good in writing and watching, but not that good in reading and drawing.
Those were the four things that I wanted to do more of in 2014. It was a simple resolution for a simple guy like me, but it’s a resolution never the less. As all resolutions I stayed true to some it, and fumbled with some of it. Besides these four items that structured my life in 2014, there were two other things that I took up which I would like to carry on doing. The first is cooking; another shocker isn’t it. Well, I always loved watching cooking shows and sometimes I would conjure something up in the kitchen. But it was always on rare occasions, maybe only once or twice a year. Even last year, if I properly count it, the amount of times I cooked something was less than ten times. But all those ten times that I did cook, gave me a sense of relaxation and accomplishment. I even started posting the recipes in an alternate blog too.
If the first was cooking, the second would be jogging. I started jogging a bit more frequently in 2014 when I found out that my lipid profile was off the chart. Way off the chart. My Cholesterol was at 7.3mmol/L and my LDL was at 5.7mmol/L. I’m not sure how much diet control and exercising is going to help, as it seems that my high level of cholesterol is endogenous. Well, whether jogging helps or not, it doesn’t matter because jogging has become something that I really enjoy doing. I don’t jog for a very long distance or for a very long time; it is usually around 2.3km for about 25 minutes. But those 25 minutes feels like I am breaking out of the clutches of norm and being my own self. It is refreshing, replenishing and calms me down in a way that nothing else can.
So, six things that my life was surrounded with in 2014 was writing, reading, watching, drawing, cooking and jogging. These six things are the activities that I did in 2014. Now I would like to look back on the moments of 2014 that were really important. As anyone else’s life, I also went through incidence which made me sad, stressful and feel sorrow. But I don’t want to talk about those incidences. Let it be bygones, and left in 2014 to be forgotten. I just want to look back at the important and happy moments of my life in 2014; no negatives, only positives.
2014 was a year that I checked off two items off my Bucketlist; write a novel and watch a live concert. I have written extensively about these experiences in my previous posts. Those who have read it would know how much both these event meant to me. Going to AR Rahman‘s Infinite Love concert was euphoric. It was a musical experience which I would never forget in my life. Completing my first novel was even better than that. When I wrote the word “Tamat” in my novel, it felt like I have achieved something that I have been longing for my whole life. Though these two events were really important in my life, I would not say any of it would be the best moment of 2014. The live concert would probably be third and writing the novel would place second in my most important moments of 2014. So what was first? Well the most important thing to happen in 2014 was something that happened throughout 2014 in a steady and gradual manner. It was “friends”.
When I looked back at 2014, my novel writing moment, winning the second prize and landing a publishing deal seemed like the best thing that can happen. But as I relived 2014 again and again, the moments that really stuck in my mind and really made me feel complete and happy was getting reacquainted with my long lost friends. As 2014 began, I started taking small steps towards getting back in touch with friends that I have not been keeping in touch with for a long time. It started with small birthday wishes in January. I was hesitant at the beginning, didn’t know what the reactions would be when my friends hear from me after a long time. But to my relief, they were pleased to get that small birthday wish. Some were even excited to hear from me again. But more than them, I was more excited to hear back from them even though it was just a “thank you” that came back as a reply. That “thank you” meant a lot for me.
Things got even better during the period when my friends heard about my second place win in the novel writing competition. Friends who I haven’t spoken to for years contacted me to congratulate me. This event decreased my hesitancy when I went on to wish everyone for their birthday the following months. There were some who replied with full enthusiasm asking how I was and everything, some replied with a long “thank you”, others with a short “thank you” and there were also a tiny bit that didn’t reply. But for me the non-replies didn’t matter. I was putting myself out there again a bit by bit. Wishing everyone on their birthdays and during festive seasons how I use to when I was back in Moscow. Wishing someone on an occasion might not be huge deal for some people but for me it is. I think it’s the small things like this that goes a long way. A small wish gives you the feeling of belonging, lets you feel that you are appreciated, and lets you realize that there are people who care and people who remember. Being forgotten is a cruel punishment, to a certain extent, worse than death.
I was also added to some of the WhatsApp group that my friends were part of, giving me that sense of belonging too. As I slowly established contact with everyone, everything seems to fall back into place. But it was merely text messages and a few phone calls. I wasn’t ready to meet most of them. Still scared I guess. Why, I’m not sure. There was only a few friends that I was meeting in person; my friends from Taiping, around five of the Spartivnaya guys based in Hospital Ipoh who also manage to hunt me down, and also very few of my batch mates. Everyone wouldn’t even total up to 20 people. But towards the end of the year, my group mates and my close friends from Moscow Medical Academy decided to go for the AFF Suzuki Cup Final 2014 in Bukit Jalil National Stadium. They asked me to join them. At first I was reluctant. I knew I will be meeting some of them after 6 years and the thought of it terrified me. As I said, I don’t know why but it did. Even though we text each other through our WhatsApp group, meeting everyone in person required taking an extra step.
After giving it much thought, and persuasion by some people, I decided to take that step. The build up to the day was scary. I didn’t know what I would say, what we would talk about. It sounds insane right. I don’t think so I would have been this nervous even if I was going on my first date, not that I have been on one before. Cutting things short, by the time I was in KL, my mind wasn’t thinking anymore. I went on auto pilot mode. Reaching the bus station, the walk to the LRT station, the train ride to KL Sentral, all was done on auto pilot. I guess not thinking about anything calmed me down a bit. The first person that I met was Sukhdev as he came to pick me up. Meeting Sukhdev was alright for me as we already met a few times and the awkwardness was not there. Even to begin with, the first time we met after around four years, the awkwardness disappeared almost instantly.
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| At Kelana Jaya LRT Station |
Though some had to leave, Ajed, Min, Kindut, Fizal and I went for late supper in Sunway. But before we reached Sunway, we had to go through a crowd of around eighty thousand people to get into a packed LRT train in order for the guys to get their cars. It was reminiscences of our morning Metro rides back in Moscow as we headed to class together. We chilled in Sunway until 2.00am. Halfway through, Sharon joined us. I also haven’t met him for six years. We talked and talked, chit chatted away, reliving old tales and catching up with new ones. Though it was only for hours, I had a really good time. It was like we were back in Moscow and were chilling in room 411 during the weekends. We said our goodbyes and headed our own way at 2.00am.
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| At Bukit Jalil National Stadium |
Well, that was a long and blissful reflection. I guess I am done reflecting on 2014; what structured my everyday life and the moments that defined my life. Now, it’s on to one of the things that I almost never do, write a New Year resolution. Sometimes, I make resolutions in my mind and sometimes I tell it to a few friends. But I don’t ever remember putting any resolution in writing before. But, since writing is something that I enjoy doing, then why not put my resolution in writing. It will make it easier for me to write an end of the year reflection come December 2015. Rather than having very vague resolutions, I will try to put numbers on my resolution so there will be some sort of target point that I can compare my performance with. Putting numbers on it does make me worried that it might take the joy out of what I enjoy doing. But let’s just give it a try for this year and see how it works out.
Well, here are the resolutions:
- Write two novels. After completing my first novel in 2014, I didn’t move past Chapter 3 in my second novel. So this is something that I really want to work on.
- Write screenplay for three short films. I already have three screenplays which haven’t gone into pre-production yet, but that doesn’t mean that I should stop writing the screenplays. I just have to make sure the screenplays gets translates into short films, which comes to my next resolution.
- Complete at least two short film projects. This short film project has always been something that my friends and I wanted to do for a long time. So I am determined to make it happen this year.
- Next is my reading. I’m not sure if I want to set a target for this. But for the sake of putting a number on it, let’s just say that I want to finish reading at least three novels this year.
- For movies, I definitely don’t want to put any number on it. I just want to watch as many movies as possible. But a note to self would be to diversify the language of the movies or series; increase the number of Hindi, Malay, Japanese and other languages that I am going to watch.
- Another one that I don’t want to put a number on is my artwork. Drawing is just something that I look to do when I feel like it. So I’ll just leave it at that and hope that I would feel like drawing more often than last year.
- Something I really want to do more this year is cooking. Easy target, try at least 10 new recipes throughout the year.
- My break-free moment is when I go jogging. So, run at least a total of 200km for the whole of 2015.
Those are the activities that I want to continue from last year. Here are some more resolutions that I would like to add on this year:
- Take a road trip with my school friends. This is something that has been in planning for years. It did happen once or twice with a small number of my friends getting together which I obviously missed out.
- Complete at least two items from my Bucketlist. I would have to work on this. I won’t choose which two, I’m sure it will choose itself as time goes on.
- Speaking my mind and doing what my heart desires. I know this is a bit vague. But there have been lots of things that I wanted say or wanted to do that I would have put off for another day. Well, what if that day never comes. I do not want to regret not saying or not doing. So, no more putting off things for another day.
- The last one would be something that I will approach with nervousness, which is meeting up with more friends that I have not been in touch with. It will be scary, but as I said it will be well worth it.
Well at the moment these are the only things that I can think of as part of my New Year resolution. I know for most people my resolution looks like things that everyone does every day as part of their routine. But what is routine for others is a passion for me. Reflection wise, it was a good 2014 and resolution wise, its a few simple resolutions for a simple guy like me. There you have it, my reflection of 2014 and resolution of 2015, all written down for the first time.
